My alarm clock went off this morning at 5:15am and I just couldn’t seem to get out of bed so I hit the snooze button. I finally got myself into the sitting position ‪at 6am‬ and slowly put my socks and sweater on.
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The memories start to pour into my mind as I go to the washroom like I do every morning and it hits me that 6 years ago at this time my mom had just left the house on her journey to the crematorium.
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I look towards her room thinking back to the morning of January 9th and how uncomfortable ,cold, and eerie it was that her physical presence and warmth is now gone forever. I was picturing the people from the funeral home carrying her lifeless body down the stairs and I am doing this as I take every, single, step this morning…..making my way down. Then, I start to think back to that early morning of ‪3:37am‬ when I awoke abruptly from my sleep.
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As I am Writting this morning I am thinking back to that day. There is something about anniversaries of death that bring us back to those moments of sadness, it’s not even that I don’t think of just happy memories anymore but when it is anniversaries/milestones they effect you in a different way.
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Now that I have managed my deep pain and suffering because I look back on those memories as a celebration of her ending her physical pain and suffering and being set free to move forward into her spiritual journey. All I know is that she is in a good place, she is with me whenever I call and she frequently comes to visit me when I call upon her.
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I find that we all go through such sadness because we relive those moments of deep pain and trauma, we literally feel sorry for ourselves. But I have found the secret to set ourselves free and stop playing the victim role.
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Today I celebrate the 24 years I shared with my mother, she was my rock, my best friend, my person. She is still always with me in spirit and when I need her she shows me the way.
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Reach out to me if you are needing some support and guidance, I am so grateful to be able to serve others with my gift and it truly fills my heart when I can share my knowledge and tools with others.
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You are not alone and I am here to help guide your path to living your life in a beautiful state.
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Sat Nam XO